I’ve recently moved since my last post and boy, has life taken me on an adventure! From a new state, new people, new scenery—it’s been one hell of an adjustment. Even good things can cause anxiety.
Relax. It’s normal. ➔ It took me a while to understand that even if you physically feel okay, your brain can be on a whole different plane. The nervous system has a crazy way of remembering even the slightest things you’ve tucked away.
You forget why making a wrong turn causes your entire chest to feel like it’s going to fall through your ass, or why a random woman saying "Hi" or asking how you are is now deemed “weird,” sketchy, or “shady.”
Goddamn trauma is so fucking weird, I swear. One minute you can be fine; the next, your nervous system is running around like Inside Out.
It’s exhausting, right? These are the moments we really need to just stop everything we are doing and take a deep breath. 😮💨 The power of breathing, y’all! This shit may sound stupid now, but pay attention to yourself next time you are feeling tense or anxious about something. Even the smallest thing.
Are your shoulders too high? Jaw too tight? Breath stagnant, shallow, or both?
Yuuuup! Just like I thought. Panicking. 😭 I don’t even notice sometimes that I’m either barely breathing or “bracing for impact”—oddly holding my breath or doing some weird shallow breathing. When I do finally recognize what I’m doing, I drop my shoulders, take several slow deep breaths, and sometimes I even close my eyes.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said, “Fuck taking a moment to center myself,” and paid the price for it after. I don’t even mean in a horrible “karma is about to eat your ass” way. I mean the kind of day where you wake up and say, “Ugh, this doesn’t feel like it’s going to be a good day”—and so it isn’t.
Yeah, that was definitely me today. ➔ I was physically, mentally, and emotionally about to crash out even harder than I already was. It was definitely a: “I don’t give three fucks what I have to do today, I’m going the fuck home before I snap all the way the fuck out,” as I’m snapping out kind of day. 😭😮💨
OVER IT. 🤦🏾♀️
But it’s all good, y’all. I sit here warm, in a BEAUTIFUL upgrade from where I just was, I’ll tell you that. I’ve been CHILLLIN'. I found something that I’m surprisingly AMAZING at, and ironically, it’s something I’ve been talking about for a bit now—it was just hidden in my shadow.
IT’S A.I. 🤖
I have discovered I am a G O A T at video generation, okay?! Like, my graphic skills are pretty nice for someone who has ZERO training in anything remotely A.I. But hunny, an artist is an artist, okuuurr?!
Bear with me these next couple weeks—I’m still getting settled, pushing out hella new content, and just goddamn living! If you took the time to read this, hit that like button! I appreciate all the support.
Peace ✌🏾
— Nëbbie
Add comment
Comments