The Beginning ⚠️

I wake up to the raindrops popping off the roof of our 3-story house. 4 if you include the attic.  The rain is coming down hard enough to sound like mini hail balls and I lay frightened.

Not because of the rain, to which normally I would be still sleep sound in my bed, but because here I lay, alone and afraid while the monster comes out from his hiding place. 

I look around with tears filled in my eyes.
Not a soul anywhere.

“Here we go, not again.”

And here he comes, with loud feet and heavy breath. 

He touches me in places I haven’t learned about yet. 

I scuffle, I squirm, I push with all my might,

but every time I try, I lose the ability to fight. 

He rips my pants, and opens my mouth, and you know what happens next?! 

More scary monsters come out to pIay, I try not to let them win.

They come from places I’ve never seen before, they land on me and steal my joy. 

They’re sticky, wet, and have such bad breath, I try wipe it off me but the monster screams “Not yet!” 

There’s so much hair, and it tastes really stale, tell me is this over yet?

After awhile I just go numb, to survive this I must play dumb. For when it passes I’ll be so happy, night after night this seems to happen.

Finally, the morning comes

The monsters gone, the rain is done but something’s changed with me this day, a perfect flower withering away..

—The Monster In The Rain

[I was 7 years old when I met my monster. Technically I was 2, but that’s for another time. How old were you when you met yours?]

#healing #survivor #loveyourself