predators wait
temporary joy
there is no rhyme no reason
the deepest parts of me
because they fucking can
flashbacks
INSIDE MY MIND
It just comes and comes, and I have no way to stop it.
The inner workings that are undoubtedly pouring out of me.
& Today the weirdest things escape my memory.
Food memories from places that were filled with memories of everything but joy
It wasn't the people, it wasn't the place, it was me, and everything that came with it.
I was miserable but looking back these were the tiniest things that brought me temporary joy.
This is so hard for me. Revisiting a place where I wanted to thrive, but it seemed like no one saw the thrive in me.
Where every day I was surrounded by copious amounts of jealousy and hate groomed in the shape of a heart and called LOVE.
How sick.
To think about how much of myself I gave, over and over, in the space and hands of a calculated monster.
Predators wait.
Here is what I have learned about some of the most dangerous predators I've come in contact with:
They can be your friends.
Your neighbors.
The trashman, mailman or a goddamn science teacher.
NOBODY is free from the "there's no way he/she could possibly" bullshit talk.
Predators have one goal, and one goal only: Control.
As i write this my mind starts to spin heavy, trying to make sense of why people do some of the foul, horrible shit they do, and you wanna know what I've come up with?!
BECAUSE THEY FUCKING CAN.
Not the response you were looking for i'm sure, and not the response i'm happy to give either.
I wish we had real answers, but be honest with yourself, IS ANYTHING REALLY GOOD ENOUGH?!
THERE IS NO RHYME, NO REASON, NO EXCUSE, to cause turmoil, harm, and even death to another human being for your own pure benefit or satisfaction.
Even out of anger, even out of sadness, even out of jealousy, we have to FUCKING STOP.
I really miss the days when people went outside to fight.
When the ass whopping that was coming your way was SO well deserved because you and EVERYONE else knows you done did some foul ass bullshit that not only affected you, but everyone else around you.
PREDATORS.
The act of hurting, or preying upon the weak.
The glory of seeing invisible strings being pulled by dirty hands.
I just don't get it.
So scared, so hurt, so tucked in the deepest parts, the deepest shadows of themselves, they don't know how to get out.
And some-just because.
That's the scariest part.
The ones that have no rhyme, no reason, no in-between.
Not even "oh it was the seasons."
Those are the crimes that really bug my brain.
Sigh..If I've lost you, that's okay.
I'm just kind of drifting between the corners of my brain today, letting whatever comes to the surface be.
Back to the beginning. The memories.
The deepest parts of me.
#flashbacks
flashbacks
temporary joy
predators wait
the deepest parts of me
click to enter
inside my mind
let whatever comes to the surface be